It’s not even a question that anyone should ask themselves, but let’s face it… Every woman has asked herself this at some point in her lifetime. Sadly, every woman I know asks herself, “am I good enough?” repeatedly. I know I certainly have…
Growing up is one of the hardest things to do. It’s a daily struggle to try to figure out who you are, what you want and what you stand for at such a young, inexperienced age. For the better part of my life, I struggled with my own self-confidence in several aspects of my life. As a child, although I excelled academically, I was socially inadequate. I had few friends. I was shy and reserved. As I got older and entered my teenage years my girlfriends had boyfriends and I wondered if any guy would every find me attractive enough to date.
I grew up in a mostly French-Canadian community where I was one of only a few students in my high school that was not born in Canada. In my mind, I was different and different to me was not as desirable. Time passed. I matured. I grew slightly more comfortable with myself and a few boyfriends later, I found the man I would marry. In my new role as a wife, “am I good enough?” crept up again. Was I a good enough wife? Daughter-in-law? Sister-in-law? The saddest truth around the “am I good enough” doubts is that we do this to ourselves.
Shortly after I got married, I had my first child and in that first year of motherhood, I was a mess, doubting every decision I made as a new mom. I struggled in an endless juggling act: Mother, wife, business owner. Woman was no longer a part of the equation. I remember the time I bought a keychain that said #1mom for my first Mother’s Day. It wasn’t that I felt I was a #1 Mom, or that I was confident or that I was patting myself on the back. It was the vibe I got from keeping it close by. Like a tender reminder to go easy on myself because I am giving it all I have and doing the best I can and surely that has to be “good enough.” In a way it was my something to hold on to… to convince myself that I was still good enough for something.
Like most moms I know, I lived in this self-doubt for many years; taking it moment by moment. After my second child I was still taking care of pretty much everything and had my household under control but there was always this aura of self-doubt around everything I did. And then, a switch turned on after having my third child. I came across a “get unstuck” mentoring program online and began a journey of self-development. That journey put all my beliefs about what it meant to be good enough into question. Who do I need to be good enough for? Whose standard of good enough am I trying to achieve? What is my definition of good enough? What does it really mean to me to be good enough?
It has been over two years since my journey began and it continues every day. Needless to say, it has been enlightening, thought provoking and life altering. If you ask me today what would answer to “Am I good enough?” the only response I would have is: “Damn right I am!” Not because I’m that great or because I think I am better than anyone else, but rather because by my standards and definition of what “good enough” is, I simply am good enough.